Thursday, October 4, 2012

Campaign Stupid Just Keeps Rolling Along

As I have said here before, every day in this stupid ass country the movie Idiocracy looks more and more like a documentary. No greater proof need be presented of this basic fact than looking at just how completely the presidential campaign has descended into absolute farce. With this contest between two corporatist candidates who differ not one iota on any issue of substance, our completely corrupt and thoroughly compromised mainstream media is working overtime to gin up fake controversies that will be all-but-forgotten by the morning of November 7th in order to maintain the illusion that Americans have a real choice at the ballot box.

Below is a collection of campaign related headlines that have appeared in just the past few days on the liberal politics and news site, The Raw Story. I'm only including the headlines and not links to the stories because the titillating headlines and the resulting sound bites are what's important to swaying the opinions and votes of Americas two great political tribes, not the substance of the stories themselves. I'm also not including the stories because I did not read any of them for fear that my brain would revolt and try to escape out of my ears if subjected to such a heaping pile of sheer nonsense. Anyway, here goes:
What we still don’t know about Mitt Romney’s taxes
What's there to know that we don't already? He's a filthy rich fucker who got that way from offshoring American jobs and paying a tax rate half that of what people who actually work for a living pay. Nothing new to see here, let's move on.
Hollywood celebrities use social media to get out the vote
If you are the kind of mouth breathing nitwit who makes your choice at the ballot box based upon some poorly articulated two sentence tweet from some vacuous celebrity, your voter's registration card should be permanently rescinded because you are clearly a danger to yourself and others.
Limbaugh sides with George Will and calls Obama ‘an affirmative action hire’
Regrettably, the difference between these two bloviating media whores is that Will is allegedly smart enough to know better.
Republicans seize on Biden ‘buried’ middle class gaffe
Wow...the notoriously gaffe-prone Biden said something stupid. Stop the fucking presses already.
Supporters at Romney rally tell cardboard Obama to ‘Go back to Kenya!’
These fucking idiots absolutely fail to realize that every time they say such idiotic, bigoted things it just reinforces the Obama supporters' determination to vote for him again however disillusioned they may be with the sellouts of the first four years of his presidency.
Gary Johnson goes crowd surfing in Utah
Nice to see Gary is trying to paint himself as a different kind of candidate by stooping to the same kind of dumbass, meaningless stunts that the major candidates do.
Ann Coulter ‘horrified’ she ever dated liberals
Hear that Maher--Skeletor has officially made you part of her "walk of shame." Which begs the (ahem) burning question--can an STD be passed from a liberal to a conservative?
Richard Belzer mocks Fox News with Nazi salute on live TV
Because there is absolutely no more effective method of winning a political argument these days and bringing people over to your side than calling your opposition a bunch of Nazis.
Republican candidate posts his gun on Facebook: ‘Welcome to Tennessee, Mr. Obama’
Memo to any Tea Party morons who apparently haven't been paying attention: mentioning the president, any president, and your guns in the same sentence WILL draw unwanted attention from the Secret Service. Bank on it.
Former N.H. Gov. Sununu: Poll showing Romney losing in my state is ‘a piece of garbage’ tell 'em, Gov. It isn't like the land of "Live Free or Die" went blue in 2004 and 2008 or anything...oh wait.
Voter registration slumps amid lack of enthusiasm for Obama and Romney
Well, what do you know? An actual intelligent headline. Gee, ya think maybe Americans are starting to catch on that the election is a sham and that it will have absolutely no affect whatsoever in their lives no matter who wins? Perish the thought!
Beck: God put Romney behind in polls to prove it’s a miracle when he wins
Obviously, that is Glenn Beck, not the rock singer Beck. In case your whole life doesn't revolve around watching the drooling troglodytes on the cable news shows.
GOP volunteer tells voter: Obama is a Muslim who wants ‘a socialistic country’
I really think we're going to have to find a photograph of Obama with his pants down around his ankles and Lloyd Blankfein sodomizing him before these idiots get their heads out of their asses and start to realize that the truth is even worse than their delusions.
Ingraham: ‘Fools’ errand’ for Romney to attempt ‘human moment’ at debate
That would be Laura Ingraham. I just love how the media has become so insular that they just assume we know who every fucking second-rate clown pundit is, like "Ingraham" means the same thing that "Madonna" does to popular music fans.
McCain suggests Harry Reid ‘doesn’t care’ about US ambassador’s death
And you don't eirther, you warmongering old fuck. Or otherwise you'd stop pressing for the aggressive war policies that make acts like the Ambassador's killing far more likely.

But here is my absolute favorite of the lot:
Ryan on Romney’s tax plan: ‘It would take me too long’ to explain
Wow, we were just about to actually, maybe discuss one of the issues, but they are way too complicated for you stupid fucking sheep to understand. Just be sure you get your ass to the polls on November 6th so that no matter who wins this fake campaign between two Holographic images you're going to get sheared yet again over the next four years.

Bonus: We're all losers, baby, so why don't you kill me


  1. This is a message I sent to a friendly google group:

    Ha! I just got back to the Cape and my dad got really annoyed at my theory, which was sort of already in place but then crystallized on the drive listening to NPR...which is...

    Obama planned to fail. He is way, way too smart to be outsmarted by Mitt. He knows that the game is the circus - the media game of the horse race. Winning too soon is disastrous. I'm not sure about sports analogies, but I think he sucker-punched Mitt.

    NPR was wondering why Obama acceded to confining the topics of the debate to those that MR would do best at. Simple, I think. Let him win the first round, why not? American voters blow with the wind and you want the wind at your back the week before the election, not the month before.

    Remember Jeremiah Wright? He was a big, big problem for Obama who, having sat in his church for so long, could hardly repudiate him.

    Then, conveniently, Wright went on a crazy rant. That gave Obama the opportunity/excuse to throw him under the bus, and bury his past association with him. Wright took one for the team - I always thought it was quite deliberately staged.

    Personally, I couldn't care less because I think both candidates are tools for corporations. But just for the sake of accuracy, I would say that Obama, as always, is playing chess, not checkers.

    Place bets?

    It's all a game to keep the hordes distracted into thinking there is any real choice, when in fact, the process is totally owned.

  2. Obama faked his debate performance to get sympathy by making Romney look like a frat boy bully.

    Pretend to be weak, that your enemy may grow arrogant. ~Sun Tzu, The Art of War

  3. Thank you so much! This rant really made my day...I get to work and the morons were discussing the debate and how Romney won and Obammars looked stupid and all I could think of was WHO GIVES A FUCK! Getting home and reading your blog (of course it's blocked at my workplace) made me truly feel vindicated cuz I could give a shit anymore! Thanks man!

  4. Gail you rock! Wit's end is awesome!

  5. "Skeletor," LOL. That's right up there with the news of Maria Shriver having her face re-sharpened.