As I have said here before, every day in this stupid ass country the movie Idiocracy looks more and more like a documentary. No greater proof need be presented of this basic fact than looking at just how completely the presidential campaign has descended into absolute farce. With this contest between two corporatist candidates who differ not one iota on any issue of substance, our completely corrupt and thoroughly compromised mainstream media is working overtime to gin up fake controversies that will be all-but-forgotten by the morning of November 7th in order to maintain the illusion that Americans have a real choice at the ballot box.
Below is a collection of campaign related headlines that have appeared in just the past few days on the liberal politics and news site, The Raw Story. I'm only including the headlines and not links to the stories because the titillating headlines and the resulting sound bites are what's important to swaying the opinions and votes of Americas two great political tribes, not the substance of the stories themselves. I'm also not including the stories because I did not read any of them for fear that my brain would revolt and try to escape out of my ears if subjected to such a heaping pile of sheer nonsense. Anyway, here goes:
What we still don’t know about Mitt Romney’s taxesWhat's there to know that we don't already? He's a filthy rich fucker who got that way from offshoring American jobs and paying a tax rate half that of what people who actually work for a living pay. Nothing new to see here, let's move on.
Hollywood celebrities use social media to get out the voteIf you are the kind of mouth breathing nitwit who makes your choice at the ballot box based upon some poorly articulated two sentence tweet from some vacuous celebrity, your voter's registration card should be permanently rescinded because you are clearly a danger to yourself and others.
Limbaugh sides with George Will and calls Obama ‘an affirmative action hire’Regrettably, the difference between these two bloviating media whores is that Will is allegedly smart enough to know better.
Republicans seize on Biden ‘buried’ middle class gaffeWow...the notoriously gaffe-prone Biden said something stupid. Stop the fucking presses already.
Supporters at Romney rally tell cardboard Obama to ‘Go back to Kenya!’These fucking idiots absolutely fail to realize that every time they say such idiotic, bigoted things it just reinforces the Obama supporters' determination to vote for him again however disillusioned they may be with the sellouts of the first four years of his presidency.
Gary Johnson goes crowd surfing in UtahNice to see Gary is trying to paint himself as a different kind of candidate by stooping to the same kind of dumbass, meaningless stunts that the major candidates do.
Ann Coulter ‘horrified’ she ever dated liberalsHear that Maher--Skeletor has officially made you part of her "walk of shame." Which begs the (ahem) burning question--can an STD be passed from a liberal to a conservative?
Richard Belzer mocks Fox News with Nazi salute on live TVBecause there is absolutely no more effective method of winning a political argument these days and bringing people over to your side than calling your opposition a bunch of Nazis.
Republican candidate posts his gun on Facebook: ‘Welcome to Tennessee, Mr. Obama’Memo to any Tea Party morons who apparently haven't been paying attention: mentioning the president, any president, and your guns in the same sentence WILL draw unwanted attention from the Secret Service. Bank on it.
Former N.H. Gov. Sununu: Poll showing Romney losing in my state is ‘a piece of garbage’Yeah...you tell 'em, Gov. It isn't like the land of "Live Free or Die" went blue in 2004 and 2008 or anything...oh wait.
Voter registration slumps amid lack of enthusiasm for Obama and RomneyWell, what do you know? An actual intelligent headline. Gee, ya think maybe Americans are starting to catch on that the election is a sham and that it will have absolutely no affect whatsoever in their lives no matter who wins? Perish the thought!
Beck: God put Romney behind in polls to prove it’s a miracle when he winsObviously, that is Glenn Beck, not the rock singer Beck. In case your whole life doesn't revolve around watching the drooling troglodytes on the cable news shows.
GOP volunteer tells voter: Obama is a Muslim who wants ‘a socialistic country’I really think we're going to have to find a photograph of Obama with his pants down around his ankles and Lloyd Blankfein sodomizing him before these idiots get their heads out of their asses and start to realize that the truth is even worse than their delusions.
Ingraham: ‘Fools’ errand’ for Romney to attempt ‘human moment’ at debateThat would be Laura Ingraham. I just love how the media has become so insular that they just assume we know who every fucking second-rate clown pundit is, like "Ingraham" means the same thing that "Madonna" does to popular music fans.
McCain suggests Harry Reid ‘doesn’t care’ about US ambassador’s deathAnd you don't eirther, you warmongering old fuck. Or otherwise you'd stop pressing for the aggressive war policies that make acts like the Ambassador's killing far more likely.
But here is my absolute favorite of the lot:
Ryan on Romney’s tax plan: ‘It would take me too long’ to explainWow, we were just about to actually, maybe discuss one of the issues, but they are way too complicated for you stupid fucking sheep to understand. Just be sure you get your ass to the polls on November 6th so that no matter who wins this fake campaign between two Holographic images you're going to get sheared yet again over the next four years.
Bonus: We're all losers, baby, so why don't you kill me